I'm Still Here
by kawaiinami
Summary: Ruu and Wannya's departure has left the couple on shaky ground. With Ruu's presence still powerful in Miyu and Kanata's lives, they find out that it's never easy to bid someone goodbye. They do have each other and, though it isn't easy, it can be easier. [Oneshot, Complete]


There are many things that make people sad; too many to ever be attempted to enumerate. It's hard to keep away from loved ones, to lose loved ones, or to hope for things that cannot be hoped for. It's difficult to fill the gaping holes that disappointment and sadness bring. The best that can be done is to wait, agonizingly and anxiously, for that pain to become bearable. In the process, we trip, stumble, hit others as we pass by, fall onto our knees, and rise to our feet.

It takes time. Until then, people rely on each other. Somehow, to help someone carry burdens they still cannot carry themselves, unknowingly, makes us able to carry our own and theirs. Our love for each other gives more strength in each step, more conviction in each decision.

It may be that thinking about the sadness will not help. It is too sad to think about it. Then again, if we don't face what keeps us anxious, life will be limited, boxing us in, and keeping us from experiencing what it's like to face the world with the innocence of a child, of someone who has not known pain.

So, we have to.

"He's gone."

Kanata looked up at Miyu. They were sitting across each other at the dining table, the dinner especially quiet without anyone else at the temple.

Miyu's voice was light and delicate. It seemed like a whisper, a mumble that she'd just blurted out without thinking. She placed her chopsticks down in a daze, disconnected from the present. She was thinking very hard. Rationalizing, maybe, the pain she was feeling at the moment.

"…gone…"

Kanata caught her words, though. He knew why she was like this.

"Miyu." He called out, her daze splitting, her eyes meeting his in shock. She held the edges of the wooden table, somehow needlessly panicked.

"Kanata, what?" She managed, blinking away the surprise. She probably isn't aware that she acts this way, he thought.

"About… Ruu..." Miyu's body twitched a little, and she smiled a bit. "Stop worrying about him." Her smile faded.

"I… I'm not worried. I mean, he's with… his parents already. I should be happy that they're all together again. I should be very happy."

Kanata notices that she never said that she was happy. Only that she should be.

He places down his chopsticks and bowl, taking Miyu's nearest hand softly.

"You're not happy." Kanata looked for Miyu's unfocused eyes. "You're not happy yet."

Miyu desperately found his. Pleading, confusedly, flustered, and exasperatedly, she cracked out an unrehearsed smile that looked unnatural. "What are you talking about? I'm fine! I'm fine! See?" She extended her 'smile' higher, trying to be brighter.

Kanata's worried face stayed. After a while, Miyu's face turned somber. She found that it took too much energy to make all those faces based on false feelings and half-baked justifications.

"I'm…" She said, looking at the table between them. "I'm sad."

Kanata sighed inaudibly, taking her hand even tighter. "Me too."

Ruu had just gone home. All the craziness died down after a month and the 'normal life' of the two returned. He noticed that she wasn't as lively as she used to be, so he gave her some time but it's been too long.

Everything should be going well.

'_Should'_.

Miyu stood up suddenly, the chair dragging on the floor and making a loud sound. "Miyu?"

She sprinted out, a determined face showing on her features. Kanata followed quickly, worried about her. Where was she going? Surely, she won't be able to reach where Ruu and Wannya are. It's highly improbable; but something like that is quite disheartening to realize.

He ran around some corridors, looking for her. He passed by the open doors leading to the outside and slowed down when he saw her blonde head looking up into the clear night sky.

Slowly, he approached her without a word. He wrapped his arms around her waist protectively, placing his cheek on her head. She began to shake.

"Ruu's happy now, right? Kanata, he's happier, right?" She cried into the still night air, shaking in his arms.

"He's fine. He's happy."

She paused, shaking her head. "Even…even without us?"

He could feel himself starting to get overwhelmed too. He hugged her tighter, closing his eyes to stop the tears from coming out.

"We knew, didn't we? He really didn't belong here. His world is different from ours, and he was bound to go back to that place."

"I… I know that. I do. We weren't his real parents. We took care of him to the best of our ability, didn't we? I hope that was enough…"

"It was."

"But… when will we see them again? You heard Wannya. It's a really long trip from planet Otto to Earth. Who knows if we'll ever get to see him again."

Kanata also thought of these same things. He kept quiet, trying to resist the urge to cry as well. He kept his eyes closed.

Miyu, looked down at Kanata's arms holding her. She held onto them.

"…I'm still here." Kanata spoke into her ear.

She felt a sense of peace and relief, but contrasting this to the pain that still sears fresh in her heart, she couldn't help but overflow with emotion.

"I…" Miyu's voice became softer, breaking into light sobs. "I just miss him. I know I can't be selfish, but… I can't help but wish he was here with us. Then, we can be a family again."

She continued to cry softly, Kanata also shedding some tears of his own. Yes, all of them had moments that their families were out of their reach. In its own special way, the 'family' that haphazardly formed in this temple was the only real family they were able to relate to for a time. This family gave them confidence and strength, troubles too, but it was always there for them. They knew they weren't really Ruu's parents and only fate brought all of them together, but in their hearts, they were a real family that went through many trials and experienced many joys together.

Suddenly, all of it became remnants of a past that can't be brought back.

It felt so lonely.

But, it is only through this loneliness that we recognize who are sincerely by are side.

After a few moments more, she looked up again, wiping her tears from her face. Kanata remained close to her, holding her in a warm embrace.

"He was such a bright light in our lives." She said, settling into him comfortably.

"He sure was. I wonder if he'll remember us." Kanata said, regaining his composure.

"I hope he does, but who knows." Miyu shook her head softly. "I'm sure he'll remember."

"Yeah. We'll never forget him either. He isn't gone. He'll come back, and I'm sure that he'll say, "I'm home" the first thing he does. So don't worry." He turns and kisses her cheek lovingly. "I'll always be by your side, no matter how grumpy you get."

A smile graced her face, a genuine one for the first time in a long while. He smiled too, feeling a whole lot better.

The night was still and cold. The two of them shared this tender moment for a bit longer, and went back into the temple hand in hand.

There are things we don't want to remember, and things that we don't want to forget. Sometimes, the things we don't want to remember and don't want to forget are the same. This makes it harder to handle, harder to accept.

Like in many, there are always stages in acceptance and dealing with pain. It's never easy to deal with such things, but if there's someone that cares about you that is willing to be by your side as you struggle with your pain, then surely, when the time comes that you can stand your burden by yourself, you will have that companion stay by you in your happiest moment.

Come and hold their hand. They won't let go.

"_Tadaima!"_

"_Okaeri!"_


End file.
